Wednesday, December 30, 2009

wedding skirt

next summer when the trees are full again
tulle will caress against my unshaven legs
like cold butter on browned toast
and delicate cobwebs will weave
two lives together.

getting used to this writing thing again

It's been so, so long since I've written anything besides school assignments, even in my journal (which i used to write in every day), but especially on this blog. It seems time is beginning to speed up, or there's never enough of it at least. What's up with that? Time hardly stops any more. Sometimes I just wish it would stop for a while, I need to catch my breath, I need to pray, I need to think....

I think it has to do with being engaged. It's like this mystery about what life will be like when we get married, along with a future event that I have/get to plan all the details about, to show everyone who Peter and I are. That alone feels like a big weight. It's just a huge deal! And then I'm beginning to realize how big of a deal getting married is, how much it really does take to make work.

I'm super excited for this next stage of life, don't get me wrong. Its just that I feel like I have a long ways to go. I need to learn to love more. I need to learn to forgive more. I don't know if I can be who I need to be, I feel so not ready to 'begin my life'

When do you begin your life, anyway? I don't really want to settle down and 'begin life'...I want to start the adventure of a life!

Life will definitely be an adventure with Peter. :)