Friday, January 25, 2013

you know when your'e a mom to an infant when...

Sometimes you put your baby down for a nap when really its you that wants one.

You get frustrated because, even though you're home all the time, the dishes and laundry manage to pile up anyways.

Having your husband home during the day feels like he's interfering with your work.

When people ask how you have been, your response depends on how many hours your baby slept in a row the night before.

When you think about how often you are feeding/changing/generally attending to your baby at all hours of the day, you marvel at the fact you can get anything done at all.

During their naps you start a fun project, and have to stop literally as soon as you start because that nap ended up not being long. Two weeks later you pick up back where you started.

Every shirt you own has also doubled as a burp rag.

In the middle of a long baby nap, you start to look at the clock and think, "any minute now...". An hour later you decide you should do something productive. Baby wakes upon the thought.

When you don't have your baby around, you feel a bit more sane because that half of your brain that is always atune to what your baby is doing at every moment can rest.

Every baby you see reminds you of yours and is compared to yours.

Your shirts are organized by a boob-access scale: 1 - no access (think, I can only wear this for 3, 4 hours max) to 10 - complete access (only wearable when you will see no one else for the day).

Even though you are with your baby all the time, when you leave, you catch yourself wondering 1. if your baby will have pooped when you get back, 2. how long it has been since their last poop 3. what color it has been/will be, as you enjoy your Indian curry.

No matter how many sleepless, screaming nights there have been or will be, you will do anything and everything for your little one. Your love and dedication for them knows no bounds.

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

two years.

Its been two years since my last post.



 Two years ago, I might have chosen to try and reflect on it all, to ponder for hours what I thought life would be like as a bright-eyed, smitten newly wed, how I never thought about having babies and being wonderfully-horribly pregnant, or what it would be like to be a crazy sleep-deprived momma, or how I blogged before everyone else thought it was the 'cool' thing to do...

 but I think it will be just easier to jump into life. Perhaps there will be snapshots along the way of the past several years, but there's just too much to unload.

Ellie liked touching the flowers. (in the future we might have to control this...for now it's tame I suppose)

Today our little family (Peter, Ellie, and me) ventured into a magical place for too short an hour - Como Zoo Conservatory. The greenery, the thick air, the memories of heart-felt conversations with friends, does something for my soul.

I see hope there.

Hope that the bare branches outside, the arctic air, cold death, leads me to forget. What? It can be over 40 degrees? There will be green things shooting out of those branches? What, we will be sweating outside again? ...its too easy to forget we don't permanently live in a frozen tundra. Its also sweet (torturous?) to feel the contrast of 75 degrees to -3 in a matter of seconds.

Here's to hope and new beginnings. To old blogs revisited. To lives re-reminisced. Who knows, maybe you'll even seen a poem or too up again.

Well...lets not get too crazy. After all, the dishes are indeed piled high, the laundry overflowing, the baby, crying.

That's another (LONG) post.