i've come to a crossroads, somehow on this journy. I don't know what I want any more, I don't know where I'm going, but I do know I really don't like where I am.
I've realized I don't like teaching. Its always been a forced thing, I'm assumed responsibility, I do what I need to do. But its a struggle. I don't want to trap myself into something that's a struggle for the rest of my life, or get even further down the line and not have ANY options about going back.
I've realized I don't like the people in my major. I don't click with them...or something. It's torture having every class with people who couldn't care less about you, who even ignore you all the time. It's tiresome. It takes the life out of me.
I'm sick of struggling, it feels like all my passion and my drive has left. I don't know what to put it in. I don't know what direction to point my life. I know what I should be doing in the mean time, doing homework, loving others, helping people, but how can I do that if I don't know where I'm going? How do I know what to invest in now?
And the frigging teachers who won't give grace because they play favorites so hardcore, they won't even converse with anyone they don't deem "worthy".
I hate musicians. Why am I one of them?